


When We Were Young

by jeoseung



Category: Naruto
Genre: KakuHida Week 2019, M/M, but i liked the concept so here it is, hopefully one day i'll be able to pull together the last half, idk when i'll ever finish the second part if ever rip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 18:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21324484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeoseung/pseuds/jeoseung
Summary: An AU where Hidan was also alive during the assassination attempt against Hashirama Senju, and in fact assisted in Kakuzu's mission.
Relationships: Hidan/Kakuzu (Naruto)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55
Collections: KakuHida Week





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally for KakuHida week 2019. The first chapter was for the prompt for day 2, "When we were young", and the second chapter was supposed to fulfill the prompt for day 3, "Reunion". Unfortunately, personal circumstances stopped me from finishing the second chapter. However, I'm more or less satisfied with what I have put together, which is why I'm choosing to post this (albeit late for the event). I'm hoping to one day finish the second half, but at the moment, I can't say that it'll happen anytime soon. Regardless, I liked the concept of this, and I hope you do, too.

The gates to the village groaned open just as Kakuzu pulled his hair up into a bun. As the exit grew larger, the waterfall’s sound grew louder and its cool spray grew stronger. Kakuzu grimaced and wiped the water off his cheeks. No matter how many times he passed by this waterfall, he couldn’t get used to its cold showers. 

“I still don’t know why we have to work with another village for this mission,” Ochiyo grumbled as their team passed the great waterfall. It was early morning, and they still had quite a ways to go before they reached their rendezvous point. Kakuzu wasn’t sure he’d be able to stand Ochiyo’s complaining for the entire time. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Atsuko snapped as she also tied up her hair. It fell in long brown tresses around her shoulders. Her single eye glared at Ochiyo. “This is Hashirama Senju we’re talking about—the God of Shinobi. We can’t possibly take him alone.” 

“I bet we could take him; we’re the best in the village! What do you think, Kakuzu-san?” 

“Don’t involve me in this,” Kakuzu snorted and glared at the map. 

“You want to take on Hashirama and _ all _his guard with just us three?” Atsuko pressed. Atsuko always was a fan of proving Ochiyo wrong. 

“_No _, that’s not what I said,” Ochiyo frowned, throwing his hands behind his head. “I’m just saying—we could’ve just asked some other jonin from our village, couldn’t we? Why try to do such a dangerous mission with people we barely know?” 

Atsuko sighed and Kakuzu rolled his eyes a little. Atsuko and Kakuzu were older and even saw some wartime, while Ochiyo had recently been promoted to jonin and was not only younger, inexperienced, and overconfident, but he was also simpleminded (at least, by Kakuzu’s estimation). If not for his raw power, Kakuzu was sure he would not be on this team.

“Listen, Ochiyo, I’m only going to explain this once,” Atsuko held up a finger to call for his attention. Kakuzu was grateful she was on the team; if it had been _ two _people without patience dealing with Ochiyo, Kakuzu was sure the mission would fall apart. 

“The Land of Hot Water is a small country, like ours,” Atsuko explained. “Meanwhile, the Land of Fire is shaping up to not only be a large country, but an extremely strong one, with both the Senju and Uchiha clans among them. As a smaller nation, naturally, we are more at risk to be overtaken and absorbed.” 

Ochiyo frowned, but nodded. “Yeah, sure. That makes sense.” 

“If that’s the case, then we need allies,” Atsuko continued. “We could turn to a larger nation, but that would mean putting ourselves at a disadvantage; they could turn on us whenever they want. However, other smaller countries are also seeking allies, like the Land of Hot Water. So, this mission is a chance to not only weaken the Land of Fire, but to work with shinobi from a possible ally and forge a relationship. We’re ambassadors just as much as we are ninja on this mission—try to remember that.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Ochiyo demanded. “You think I can’t be a good ambassador?” 

“You can if you keep your mouth shut,” Kakuzu deadpanned and lowered the map. Before Ochiyo could protest, Kakuzu pointed southeast. “We’re to meet the Yugakure-nin by sunset at our borders. Let’s move.” 

“Roger,” Atsuko said, adjusting her cloak and pushing her forehead protector further up her arm. 

“Yes, sir,” Ochiyo sighed dejectedly, but he lowered his arms all the same and prepared to leave. 

The next second, the three ninjas were gone. 

* * *

The sun was just beginning to set as Kakuzu and his team arrived at the meeting point. They arranged themselves discreetly in a circle, laying out their belongings and keeping inventory of their weapons, while they waited for the Yugakure-nin to arrive. They were hovering just at the corner of where their land, the Land of Hot Water, and the Land of Fire’s borders converged. As such, they were surrounded by forest, although because they were still near the edges, the trees were still young and thin. It was deeper into the forest, and deeper into Fire country, when the trees would begin to show their age. 

“Aren’t they late?” Ochiyo clicked his tongue. He was impatiently lodging and dislodging a kunai into the dirt. He readjusted his glasses and looked at Kakuzu in a wordless ask for confirmation. “They should’ve been here at least thirty minutes ago.” 

“Quiet,” Atsuko hushed him, although she and Kakuzu knew he was right; the sun was now completely disappearing into the horizon. The Yugakure shinobi should have appeared by now. If they didn’t arrive in the next few minutes, not only would they be forced to consider the mission was blown, but also be wary of possible enemies coming to find them. 

“Ten minutes,” Kakuzu said. Ten minutes, and they would leave and return to the village. 

Not a moment after he said so, leaves rustled behind him. Quick as a shadow, Kakuzu threw a kunai in the direction. He heard an exclamation, a body hitting the ground, and the kunai burying itself in the bark of a tree. _ Dodged_. 

“Jashin! Shit, what’s the big idea?” a new voice said, and presently, the owner’s head popped out of the underbrush. He was pale skinned, with youthful and refined features, and was pushing his dark hair back into place with great meticulousness. _ Vain _, Kakuzu thought with an internal snort. 

“You’re the Takigakure-nin we’re supposed to be working with, right?” the young man snapped as he straightened fully to approach them. He was dressed in dark trousers and a sleeveless shirt, like Kakuzu himself, and wore a vest on top. Kakuzu noted there were multiple scrolls lining this vest, with various seals drawn on. Weaponry, he guessed. Finally, around his neck, there was a forehead protector emblazoned with the Yugakure’s symbol. 

“We might be,” Kakuzu said. As the man approached, Kakuzu rose. The other man paused and looked Kakuzu over, his mouth slowly slipping into a smirk. The man’s dark eyes finally lifted to meet Kakuzu’s green ones, which narrowed. Why was this man alone? Where were the other members of his unit? Surely Yugakure didn’t just send them _ one _shinobi? 

As if summoned, two more ninjas appeared, and with significantly more dignity than their fellow. They alighted on branches above their heads before jumping down to join them. 

“Honestly, Hidan,” a young woman snapped, glaring at the man who had arrived first, “what have we said about going too far ahead?” 

“I’m fine!” Hidan said, looking offended. “Come on, what’s the big deal? Nothing happened!” 

“Nothing, huh?” the remaining member, a bald man wearing dark goggles that obscured his eyes, said while dislodging Kakuzu’s kunai from its tree. 

“It didn’t hit me, _ clearly_,” Hidan clicked his tongue and folded his arms. 

“Enough,” Kakuzu said. “Which one of you is in charge?” He prayed it wasn’t the Hidan character. He could already tell that one was going to drive him up a wall. 

“I am,” said the young woman, to Kakuzu’s mild surprise. She was a little more than half his height, with slight shoulders and hair cropped close to her head. When she turned towards him, he saw a long, broad scar running up from her chest to her neck and behind, to the back of her head. To his credit, Kakuzu kept his expression schooled. 

“You’re from Takigakure?” said the woman. Instead of confirming, Kakuzu reached into one of the pouches on his waist and produced a sealed scroll. The woman did the same, pulling out a scroll from one of her broad sleeves. Wordlessly, they traded documents. 

Kakuzu instantly ran a preliminary test. The jutsu around the woman’s scroll did not feel tampered with, suggesting it was not a fake, had not been manipulated, and had not been opened and resealed. He inspected the markings along its surface, seam, and the ends and decided it was probably safe to open. Across from him, the woman was doing the same. 

Kakuzu opened the scroll and found a letter inside addressing him and his cell. It from the leader of the Yugakure, confirming that the owners of this scroll were who they claimed. The woman was also reading a similar document about them. 

“So you’re Kakuzu-san?” the woman clarified after finishing the brief report in the scroll. 

“And you’re Suzue,” Kakuzu replied flatly. He looked at the goggled man over Suzue’s head. “And Sosa.” Sosa nodded and tossed the kunai back at Kakuzu. “I’m guessing this is yours.” 

Kakuzu caught the kunai by the handle, then looked back at Suzue and said dryly, “It took you long enough.” 

“Sorry,” Suzue grimaced, “had some trouble along the way.” 

“Serious?” Kakuzu’s brow furrowed. 

“No, no, nothing like that. One of my subordinates is..._impulsive_.” 

Kakuzu had a feeling he knew who that was. 

“Fine,” Kakuzu said. “This is my cell. Atsuko-san. Ochiyo.” He gestured to each of them in turn. “If that’s all, we can review our skills on the road. The journey to Konohagakure is long.” 

“Ah, more traveling?” Hidan interrupted, frowning. “We just got here!” 

“Please ignore him,” Suzue insisted. “I agree, it would be best to travel through the territory at night. We can confirm our strategy as we go. It will take two days to get to the village. That should be plenty of time.” 

At least Suzue seemed half competent. Kakuzu could deal with this—assuming she knew how to keep Hidan in line as well. Ochiyo was nothing compared to this Yugakure shinobi. Even Ochiyo was sensible to keep his mouth shut during this entire exchange. 

“Then it’s decided,” said Kakuzu. He looked back at Atsuko and Ochiyo. “We’re going.” 

Hidan opened his mouth—no doubt to complain—but before he could say another word, the five other ninjas took off.

“Hey!” Hidan snapped and started after them. “Wait for me, jackasses!” 

* * *

When Kakuzu was not devising strategy with Suzue, who he had to admit was shrewd, it seemed Hidan was determined to grab his attention. Kakuzu spotted Hidan eyeing him multiple times as they traveled. Then, as Hidan noticed Kakuzu looking back, he began waving or grinning at him. Once, he even looked along Kakuzu’s body suggestively before meeting his glare with a wink. Kakuzu seriously had to curb the urge to punch him. Luckily, Suzue called for his attention, and he was adequately distracted enough to shove the image of Hidan winking at him out of his mind. 

Ultimately, Kakuzu was able to more or less ignore Hidan and compared skills of his team with Suzue’s. They identified strengths and weaknesses and began discussing appropriate attack and infiltration strategies throughout the night. The pair of them finally stopped as morning broke. They made camp for the day, finding a network of caverns to take refuge in some distance from a river. Kakuzu took first watch and hid himself among a tree’s thick branches to ready himself for a few hours of silence when Hidan, without warning, appeared next to him. 

Kakuzu, by instinct, drew a kunai as soon as he sensed a presence near and swung it, narrowly missing Hidan’s neck. As it was, the kunai scraped on the metal of Hidan’s forehead protector, caught on the collar of his vest, then stuck into the tree’s trunk, pinning Hidan. 

“Nice to see you too,” Hidan stuck out his tongue and caught Kakuzu’s wrist before he could make another move. Kakuzu eyed the grip, observing its strength and noting how quickly Hidan moved to dodge Kakuzu, before letting go of the kunai. The fact that Hidan decided to sneak up on him and risk injury instead of simply _ announcing _his presence made Kakuzu question Hidan’s sanity, but there was really no reason to continue to pin him now that Kakuzu knew it was him. 

Despite almost being stabbed, Hidan did not look particularly bothered. He cheerily dislodged the kunai and spun it on a finger as Kakuzu took back his hand. 

“What are you doing here?” Kakuzu frowned. “You should be resting.” 

“Aw, sweet of you to care about me, _ Kakuzu_.” 

The lack of honorifics from a boy almost ten years his junior was grating—made worse by Hidan’s smug, conscious emphasis on his name—but Kakuzu held his tongue. He reminded himself of what Atsuko said yesterday: they were ambassadors as well as assassins on this mission. For his village, he had to play nice. He chose to address the obvious detriments of Hidan’s lack of sleep to the mission rather than try to convince him to respect Kakuzu’s position. He could already tell a conversation about the latter would go nowhere. 

“It’s important we’re _ all _rested for travel tonight,” Kakuzu pointed out, tone testy but by no means aggressive. Hidan should count himself lucky. “Your shift is later. You should sleep before then.” It was not a suggestion. 

“I’m good.” Hidan leaned back against the tree trunk, still toying with Kakuzu’s kunai, as he lazily drew his eyes over Kakuzu once again. He was unabashedly pausing on Kakuzu’s bare arms, his shoulders, his face, and even eyed his hair bundled atop his head. Kakuzu’s eyes narrowed a hairsbreadth. He was tempted to try and order Hidan to return back to the campsite, or at least take up watch in some other tree, but decided Hidan probably wouldn’t listen no matter how threatening Kakuzu got. Therefore, Kakuzu ignored Hidan’s gaze and looked back into the forest. 

“Then stay still and be quiet,” Kakuzu said. At the very least, if Hidan insisted on staying, they should do their task as intended. 

Predictably, however, the silence only lasted about a minute before Hidan spoke again. “So,” he said, “are all Takigakure shinobi as hot as you? Or am I just lucky?” 

Kakuzu didn’t blush—he was too humorless to fall prey to such a thing—but his look did darken, and he gave Hidan a pointed side eye. Giving suggestive looks was one thing, but speaking so brazenly was just begging for a beating.

“What? You’re not taken or some shit, are you? You seem like way too much of an uptight prick to be with anyone. I mean, not that it matters to_ me _ , honestly—I’m down for whatever, no matter what—but if it’s a dealbreaker for _ you_…I mean, I can be _ pretty convincing_—” 

“Hidan,” Kakuzu sneered, “shut up.” 

Hidan wasn’t even trying to hide his broad grin. He was eagerly drinking in Kakuzu’s irritated expression as he continued, “So you’re _ not _with anyone? Because I’m not above fucking behind a bush somewhere if you’re not. I don’t even bite—unless you’re into that. You look like a guy that might be.” His thumb rubbed along the edge of the kunai. 

“You must be kidding,” Kakuzu glared. “We’re on a _ mission_. Take it seriously.” 

“Hard to get, huh?” Hidan chuckled, black eyes glittering. “It suits you, Kakuzu.” 

“Act your age,” Kakuzu clicked his tongue. Did Hidan think he was some horny teenager? They were trained killers off to assassinate a powerful shinobi—perhaps the most powerful in the world—and Hidan was going to talk about having sex in the dirt with a stranger? Even thinking about such base debauchery made Kakuzu’s lip curl. Either Hidan had some extremely strong jutsu hidden away somewhere or the Yugakure’s supply of shinobi was more pathetic than Kakuzu thought, because his behavior so far only indicated he was poorly suited for covert operations necessary to be a ninja. 

“Come on, Kakuzu, that makes you sound old,” Hidan teased. “You look like you still got some spring in your step or whatever the fuck. Hey, you haven’t thanked me for complimenting you, by the way. I’m not usually into older guys, but I’m making an exception for your ass.” 

Kakuzu made a disgusted noise and looked away. Maybe if he fully ignored Hidan, he would grow bored and leave of his own volition. Frankly, apart from outright maiming or killing him (which were sorely tempting at the moment, Kakuzu had to admit), Kakuzu could not think of many other options to get Hidan to shut up. 

“He-ee-ey, Kakuzu,” Hidan whined, leaning forward. “It’s rude to ignore someone, you know.” Hidan’s hand drifted forward, intending to grip Kakuzu’s bicep, but Kakuzu’s own hand caught Hidan’s wrist just as Hidan’s fingers were centimeters from him. Kakuzu’s face was furious, frustrated, and impatient. 

“_Look_,” Kakuzu started, grip tightening on Hidan’s wrist, but before he really started on his tirade, he stopped. Kakuzu paused, anger quickly dissipating, and loosened his grip while turning his head to look somewhere over his shoulder. Hidan also dropped his broad grin as he looked in the same direction as Kakuzu. 

Not a second later, they jumped higher into the tree, where there was more cover, and lay across the branches to overlook the ground beneath them. Soon after, a small squad of four shinobi appeared. They all seemed to be about Kakuzu’s age, and from the way they held themselves, were likely jonin or high-level chunin. 

“Any sign?” one asked. 

“Not so far,” said another.

“We’re wasting our time,” snapped a third, who crossed her arms. “Not every warning we get is going to be legitimate. We should be back in the village helping out, not walking around the border like a glorified patrol.” 

“The Takigakure is a known threat, though,” the first one argued. “If some correspondence implies they’re making a move, we should do everything we can to find them.” 

“Even if the message was from within the Takigakure itself? It might as well be a bait, or a distraction, or some sort of ruse!” the third pressed. Kakuzu felt his blood run cold and almost unconsciously reached for a kunai before Hidan put a hand on his arm. Kakuzu spared Hidan one glance—_Wait_, Hidan’s look said—before refocusing on the conversation going on underneath him. 

“Hokage-sama believes in its validity,” the first man said stubbornly. “That should be enough. Our clan leaders pledged themselves to him, after all. If it’s wrong, then fine—at least we know our border is secure.” 

The woman snorted, but relented at last. 

“How much territory is remaining?” 

“Not much more. The riverbank and the caverns near it,” a fourth chimed in. 

Immediately, Kakuzu’s mind kicked into high gear. Undoubtedly, what the Konoha ninjas were referring to was where they made camp. He cursed to himself as he tried to think of a strategy. Because of their position, they would be forced to wait until the Konohagakure-nin left first, making it unlikely they would be able to reach the others before the Konoha squad got there. Assuming this, warning the team ahead of time seemed unlikely, and erasing their tracks and disappearing after the fact seemed even more so, giving the Konoha ninjas the opportunity to report back to Konohagakure. 

Then, if they did not get there before the Konoha shinobi did, there was also no guarantee the others would be alive, especially considering they were not on guard, but there was also no guarantee the Konoha-nin would stay to fight; they might instead opt to gather intelligence and report back to the village so security tightened and essentially failed the mission anyway. 

“Good,” the first one’s voice brought Kakuzu back to reality. “Let’s get going. We’re expected by evening.” 

There was a round of assent before the shinobi disappeared. 

Kakuzu mentally counted to ten before he dared move. Just as he was making to stand, however, he dodged his own kunai thrown at his face, moving on instinct rather than thought. At the same time, Hidan tackled him, and then they were sailing down from the tree. Hidan had Kakuzu’s limbs pinned and was forcing him down back first, with himself on Kakuzu’s stomach. Quickly, Kakuzu activated Earth Spear just before they hit the ground. 

The sound of their impact gave off a loud crack, but thanks to his jutsu, Kakuzu barely felt anything when they hit, much less sustained any injuries, even with Hidan forcing him down. As the dust settled, he heard Hidan whistle. 

“That’s some pretty nice jutsu, Kakuzu,” Hidan said, although his tone was no longer playful. Kakuzu looked up just in time to see Hidan jump off of him. He was covered in scrapes and dust from their fall through trees, but despite the height, he was relatively unharmed—he had made Kakuzu cushion his fall, after all. 

Kakuzu watched warily as Hidan took out a summoning scroll. In a puff of smoke, the scroll was replaced with a sharply honed kusarigama—a chain-sickle. The sickle was large and almost as tall as Hidan was, and the chain extended from its base and wrapped around Hidan’s forearm at least four to five times. It was a large, deadly looking weapon. 

“Hidan,” Kakuzu said slowly as he rose, sounding just as dangerous, “what are you doing?” 

“You heard those Konoha fucks,” Hidan sneered. “They got inside information from the Takigakure on this shit! We’re walking into our deaths here! So, was it you? Huh?” Hidan brandished the sickle towards Kakuzu accusingly. 

“Get a grip,” Kakuzu snorted as he released his Earth Spear. “Of course it wasn’t me. Use your head. If I was the informant, why would I have let you overhear that entire conversation?” 

“Who fucking knows!” Hidan jeered as he entered a ready stance. “Clearly the Takigakure can’t be fucking trusted, so what the fuck do I care about that bullshit logic!” 

Then, with shocking speed, Hidan rushed forward, brandishing his kusarigama. Kakuzu barely prepared his Earth Spear before Hidan swung the sickle across Kakuzu’s chest. The cloth of his shirt split along the cut like butter, heralding the sickle’s sharpness, but Kakuzu’s skin underneath remained unscathed.

_ We don’t have time for this! _Kakuzu thought to himself frustratedly. While they were fighting, the Konoha-nin were getting closer and closer to their allies, who were operating without information. However, Hidan had apparently flown into a fury, assaulting Kakuzu with blows that were as rapid as they were crushing. He was shocked at how quickly Hidan was throwing around such a heavy weapon and how easily he moved with the unwieldy chain. The other scrolls in Hidan’s vest held other varieties of weapons, as well. Could he use all of them with skills equal to this? 

Eventually, Hidan was able to swing the sickle and chain such that the chain wrapped around Kakuzu’s body. Hidan whooped in triumph as the remaining amount of chain between Kakuzu and the sickle shortened, until the sickle made one final lap around Kakuzu and sliced off his head. 

With a poof, Kakuzu’s head and body transformed into a wooden tree stump. Too late, Hidan realized what Kakuzu had done—just as Kakuzu appeared behind him and captured Hidan in a chokehold, arms enhanced with Earth Spear just for good measure. 

“Now, listen very carefully,” Kakuzu said harshly, tightening his grip as Hidan struggled. “While you waste our time trying to kill me, the _ real _ enemy is running towards our base to ambush our allies. They are unaware, off their guard, and will likely be taken out before they realize what’s happening. _ Now _ ,” Kakuzu emphasized as Hidan opened his mouth to spit something out, “you may be right: I might be the informant. But do you _ really _want to spend the time trying to get me to admit it over helping your allies?” 

There was a tense moment where Hidan made choked, frustrated noises and dug his feet in to try and force Kakuzu off, but after a few seconds, he stopped struggling and tapped on Kakuzu’s forearm twice. Kakuzu slowly released his grip. As soon as there was enough give, Hidan shoved Kakuzu away and began taking whooping gasps of air. 

“Are we in agreement?” 

“Fuck!” Hidan spat into the grass, face red. 

“_Hidan_.” 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, fine!” Hidan snapped, looking up to glare. “Fine, I’ll follow you—for now. But make one wrong move and I’ll fucking kill your sorry ass!” 

“That’s my line.” 

“So what’s your great fucking plan then, _ Kakuzu_, if they’re going to reach the base before we do?” 

“We have no choice but to intercept them and attempt to stop them before they reach the caves,” Kakuzu said frankly. It was a high risk, low chance mission where they not only had to catch up with an enemy with a head start, but had to also fight at disadvantageous numbers. However, this one that guaranteed that the Konoha-nin both did not catch their allies unawares and did not have the chance to report back to their village. In this case, Kakuzu and Hidan had an advantage; the Konoha ninjas did not know they were being followed, which meant they would not be expecting an attack from behind. 

“That’s it?” Hidan exclaimed. “That’s your genius fucking plan?” 

“Go ahead and think of a better one,” Kakuzu scoffed. “Catch up to me when you do.” With that, he jumped into the trees and rushed off to follow the Konoha squad. He wasn’t going to spend any more time trying to convince Hidan. They had already wasted enough as it was. Presently, Hidan joined him, albeit grumbling for a while, but soon he also fell into silence as they focused on gaining on the enemy. 

A few minutes of hard running later, Kakuzu raised a hand. He and Hidan stopped and crouched as they picked up on the Konoha unit’s voices. They seemed to have stopped to review their reconnaissance formation. 

“I’ll go around and distract them from the front,” Kakuzu murmured. “When you see an opening, attack from behind.” 

Hidan, despite everything, looked nothing short of eager. His mouth was in half a grin, and his eyes were alight with mischief. Kakuzu tapped his arm to confirm that he had heard. 

“Yeah, yeah, understood,” Hidan said, and while it was not much, Kakuzu acknowledged he would probably not get much more of an affirmation than that. Kakuzu retreated into the shadows and cautiously made his way through the canopy. 

The Konoha-nin had gone back onto the ground so they could speak together more easily. They were standing close to each other, their voices low and quiet such that he could not quite make them out. Not that it mattered. With all four of them together like that, it would be a simple thing to keep them all in sight and attract their attention, giving Hidan a good opportunity to kill them. In fact, with them all grouped like this, Kakuzu considered casting his Earth Release to capture them all at once. This would be easy to do. 

_ Far too easy._ Kakuzu frowned. For being subordinates to the God of Shinobi and Madara Uchiha, these ninjas had left themselves open and vulnerable to possible attack while knowing they were searching for possible intruders. Were they really so confident the information was false? Warily, Kakuzu cast his gaze around him, looking for something out of the ordinary: a shadow out of place, or light rippling in ways it was not meant to. 

Something strange in his periphery had just caught his attention when, with a ridiculous battlecry, Hidan burst out from the foliage. Kakuzu heard himself groan as Hidan dove straight for the Konohagakure ninjas and swung his sickle at them—and sliced off three of their four heads. Only the kunoichi that was furthest from him was spared as she leapt away. 

Triumphant, Hidan wrenched back his sickle with the chain to prepare another attack. Kakuzu had to admit: Hidan truly looked like a force. Despite the arrogant way he dove into battle, Kakuzu observed how expertly Hidan controlled not only his weaponry, but his body, and how his entire body was trained to not only be strong and fast, but nimble and agile. Hidan himself was a weapon. 

But he was shortsighted. As predicted, the three beheaded individuals reverted back to regular tree stumps in puffs of smoke. Hidan cried out something Kakuzu couldn’t make out, but he was sure it was something vulgar. 

Suddenly, out of the branches above Hidan, two explosive tags flew out attached to kunai. Immediately, without thinking, Kakuzu dropped out from his hiding place, cast Earth Spear, and caught the two kunai just before they reached Hidan. 

“Kakuzu!” Hidan shouted as the explosions went off. Whatever else he might have said was lost to Kakuzu, who was simply focused on landing on his feet and clearing the smoke from his face before the enemy had a chance to attack. 

Kakuzu barely had any warning before a sword cut through the smoke and towards his face. Of course, his Earth Spear was still on, so the blade harmlessly slipped across his cheek, but he was only just able to grip the arm that was attached to it and yanked it forward. With a yelp, a shinobi—the first one to speak from before—fell forward. Without hesitating, Kakuzu drew a kunai and stabbed it straight through the heart. 

“Saigo!” the kunoichi shouted as Kakuzu felt the life leave the body against his chest. He threw it off as Hidan appeared at his side. A quick once-over confirmed Hidan, while bruised and dirtied, and with a few additional scratches, had not been seriously harmed by the explosion. 

“Kakuzu—” 

“I’m fine,” Kakuzu answered before Hidan could even ask the question. His expression said it all. Kakuzu released his Earth Spear as he said, “The one above—” 

“I got him,” Hidan said even as the body dropped from the trees. “Two left.” 

Two indeed. But only one had shown herself so far. Kakuzu cursed internally. He should’ve remained hidden regardless of risk to Hidan and attempted to locate all four ninjas. Now they were at risk of letting one go and allowing him to pass on a warning. He frowned. Such impulsiveness was unlike him. 

“Find the other one,” Kakuzu ordered. “I’ll handle this one.” 

“Have fun,” Hidan said before jumping back into the trees. 

“You’re not getting away!” the kunoichi shouted as she put together hand symbols. Kakuzu read them quickly and once again leapt in front of Hidan to intercept the attack. 

“Water Release: Water Cannon!” 

“Earth Release: Clay Barrier!” 

With brutal force, a deluge of boiling hot water escaped from the kunoichi’s mouth. Kakuzu had no doubt it was hot enough to leave serious burns on a target. Still, Kakuzu cast his own jutsu just in time; with a resounding crack, a wall of clay as wide as three of Kakuzu’s arm spans exploded from the ground. It grew as tall as some of the trees before stopping. Not a moment later, Kakuzu heard water crash against its surface and saw the steam rising from over its top. 

“Nice one, Kakuzu!” Hidan laughed, buoyant, as he sped off. “Don’t go too hard on her!” 

_ What are you saying?_ Kakuzu rolled his eyes. Of course he had to go hard on her. No one could be allowed to leave alive. She was going to die. 

Briefly, Kakuzu considered a moderate number of covert strategies—using clones, misleading her with genjutsu, diverting her attention using weapons—before deciding time was of the essence and a frontal assault would be best. With this, Kakuzu reactivated his Earth Spear over his entire body.

The barrage of water went on for another ten seconds before relenting. In that moment, Kakuzu burst through his own clay wall and flew towards his opponent, aiming to land a punch. She barely had time to throw up a kunai and her arms to absorb the blow before his fist connected. Even with the extra brace of the kunai, Kakuzu felt bones break underneath his blackened knuckles.

The kunoichi gasped and flinched, and Kakuzu took the opportunity to pivot and strike her with his heel. This time, she was fast enough to dodge, causing Kakuzu to instead kick through the trunk of a gargantuan tree. Its thick branches cracked and groaned at the stress as it began to keel over. Kakuzu would simply have to hope they were far enough away from others that the noise did not signal them. 

She was in the air now. Kakuzu threw two shuriken in her direction. Quickly, despite her doubtlessly shattered hands, she managed to put together two simple hand symbols to blow the shuriken back. Kakuzu was willing to bet she would not be able to manage any more complicated symbols than that, however. 

Wasting no time, Kakuzu jumped after her and reappeared alongside her, faster than her eye could track. She hardly had time to realize he was there before he gave her a merciless kick in the ribs, breaking two. She cried out as she plummeted back towards the hard ground. 

Kakuzu landed on a nearby branch and observed her for a moment, Earth Spear fading. She was lying a few centimeters deep in the dirt from the impact, blood seeping from her mouth and from her side. Her back was protruding at a gruesome angle, implying it was broken. She wasn’t moving, but Kakuzu still allowed another three seconds to verify it was not another case of replacement jutsu. 

When he was satisfied, he left his perch and landed just beside her head. Her face was turned towards the side, which meant she was staring at his shoes when he arrived. One look confirmed her back was indeed broken, paralyzing her. Her chest was still moving, but only in short, sporadic, spurts. Sweat, blood, and tears stained her face, although she did not look particularly afraid. Perhaps it was simply that painful. 

“Where’s the fourth one?” Kakuzu asked. The fact that she tried to keep Hidan from leaving, as well as the fact that no one else appeared to help her, told him the fourth member had left to send a message. As he watched, the kunoichi’s eyes moved from his feet to his face, although her head remained still. Her look was that of pure hatred. He was certain that, if she could, she would spit in his face. 

In any case, it was clear she would not be able to form words or otherwise indicate anything useful in her current state, even if she was going to. He would simply have to hope Hidan had found a trail. With a _ humph_, Kakuzu drew a kunai and, with a decisive throw, embedded it into the center of her forehead. Instantly, her eyes lost focus, and her body went limp. Kakuzu took one more second to confirm she had passed before making to chase after Hidan. 

“He-ee-ey, Kakuzu!” 

_ Speak of the devil. _Kakuzu turned to find Hidan waving at him with a broad grin, blood splattering his face and neck and staining his kusarigama. On his shoulder was the fourth and final shinobi. His back looked like it had been torn into and ripped apart by a wild animal. Apparently, Hidan did not understand subtlety or restraint. Well, the method didn’t matter as long as he was dead. 

“You’re sure he didn’t send anything?” Kakuzu asked. Hidan dropped down from his branch and waved his hand. 

“Nah, I got him just as he was summoning a messenger,” Hidan assured. For good measure, he produced the shredded remains of a summoning scroll and a now-bloody slip of paper that Kakuzu could only assume had the shinobi’s intended correspondence. 

“Good work,” Kakuzu said. “Lie him down, and bring the other two.” 

Obediently, Hidan dropped the body and went to collect the other two. Meanwhile, Kakuzu fully released the clay barrier, returning the earth back into the ground, and used the disturbed dirt to prepare a ditch to bury the bodies. Unfortunately, the dirt was obviously fresh, and there was nothing Kakuzu could do about the felled tree, but at the very least, they weren’t leaving four bodies out in the open for anyone to find. 

“Whew, was that you?” Hidan whistled as he returned, eyeing the giant tree that had fallen across many of its smaller siblings. 

“My Earth Spear technique,” Kakuzu answered as he nodded at Hidan to drop the bodies in the prepared hole. Hidan did so. 

“The shit where your skin hardens?” Hidan asked as Kakuzu closed up the opening. Kakuzu grunted in confirmation. 

“Heh, you’re pretty strong, huh, Kakuzu?” 

“Don’t be stupid,” Kakuzu said as he released the jutsu and glared at Hidan. “Of course I’m strong. We’re on a mission to kill the God of Shinobi, remember?” 

“Yeah, yeah, I remember! Fucking Jashin, learn to take a compliment, old man.” 

_ Jashin_. That was the second time Kakuzu had heard Hidan say that. He wondered what it meant. He kept himself from asking. He did not have to give Hidan an excuse to talk. 

“I was going to thank you for being all heroic and shit too, dropping in to save me,” Hidan drawled as he resealed his weapon. It disappeared in smoke. “You really know how to make a guy feel special, Kakuzu.” 

“Get a grip,” Kakuzu said. “If you died, I’d be handling the squad four to one. That’d increase the chance one gets away or that I get overpowered. Plus, I’d have to explain to your allies how, exactly, you died.” 

“_ Ye-ee-eah_, that’s true,” Hidan shrugged languidly as he took a step closer. Kakuzu stubbornly refused to give up ground. “But they didn’t know you were there yet, right? So it would’ve been better for you to let me get hurt and draw out all four of them so you could figure out their locations—right?” 

Kakuzu blinked. He did not expect Hidan to produce this analysis. Then again, similar to how Kakuzu told Hidan off for underestimating his strength, Kakuzu clearly had underestimated Hidan. They were both assigned to the same mission. Hidan had demonstrated he was a very dangerous shinobi and, implicitly, had some capacity for strategy. Apparently his penchant for diving into fights was his own preference, then, and not because he was too moronic to think of a plan. Kakuzu wasn’t sure if this improved or worsened his opinion of Hidan. 

Meanwhile, Hidan had inched ever closer, until he was just barely—but not quite—touching Kakuzu. Kakuzu could feel the heat radiating off of the other shinobi, and he could smell the blood that stained his skin and clothes. 

“It’s okay, Kakuzu, no one’s around—you can go ahead and admit you’re into me, now,” Hidan said, laughter in his eyes. “Or, you know, just show me. I know words aren’t your thing.” 

Kakuzu snorted and stepped away. He turned his back on Hidan and said, “Let’s go. We need to report back to the others.” 

“Man, we’re already late,” Hidan hummed, voice full of promise. “They can wait a couple more—” 

“_Now_.” 

A few minutes later, they were standing before their squads explaining the situation—or, at least, Kakuzu was explaining. Suzue sent Hidan off to the river to rinse off the blood on him before he started attracting predators. Kakuzu was relieved about this; it let him describe the scenario while keeping out the part where the Takigakure apparently passed along information to the Konohagakure. Kakuzu certainly wasn’t going to share that with the other Yugakure-nin, and he wasn’t even sure how or when he would tell his own squad—assuming one of them wasn’t the informant, already. And he would have to keep an eye on Hidan to make sure he didn’t pass on the information to others for the rest of the mission. Such knowledge would only bring dissent, and even if either Ochiyo or Atsuko were moles, they would have no way of proving it—and they would _ still _need to continue the mission, regardless of resulting suspicious feelings, which would likely result in flawed cooperation and mistrust. No, for now, Kakuzu would keep this quiet. 

However, Kakuzu wasn’t sure if it was as simple as a few rogue informants. Certainly, it was a problem, but one that was easily dealt with. Intelligence breaches were typically picked up on quickly, especially in a small country where the military was on high alert. So was it likely that their village was totally unaware of information leaks—much less information leaks on such a covert and high-profile mission? Kakuzu doubted it. If that was the case, then that meant the elders sent them on this mission knowing it could already be compromised. 

He didn’t like thinking this, but it was the only logical conclusion he could arrive at. This mission, already, had probably a one percent chance of success. The God of Shinobi’s strength was no laughing matter, and even with six highly trained shinobi, Kakuzu still doubted their ability to even put a scratch on Hashirama. He was willing to do the mission anyway, as it was expected of him, it was not his place to question, and it showed the elders respected his abilities. However, if they knew the information leaks were present, then not only did they send Kakuzu and his squad on a one percent mission, but they knew it would be an almost zero percent chance. So what were they doing here? 

“It was your fighting we heard, then,” Suzue said after Kakuzu finished. 

“I wanted to go out and find you guys,” Ochiyo added accusingly. 

“I insisted it would be best to stay here, as agreed, instead of separating in enemy territory without knowing the full story,” Suzue turned a little to frown at Ochiyo. 

“I agreed with this, as well, Kakuzu-san,” Atsuko chimed in. “Ochiyo was _ outvoted _, and he’d do well to remember that.” 

“Ochiyo, drop it,” Kakuzu cut him off before he could say anymore. “It’s done. We need to get moving. The cell said they were expected back by tonight. Once they don’t show up, the Konoha will know something is amiss.” 

“Travelling in the daytime?” Sosa clicked his tongue and shook his head. “How troublesome.” But he did not disagree. 

“We’ll leave right away,” Suzue nodded. “Kakuzu-san, please lead the way. I’ll collect Hidan, and we’ll join you soon.” 

“No, I’ll get Hidan. He saved my life while we were out there. I would like to thank him,” Kakuzu lied smoothly. "I will ensure we rendezvous with you shortly." 

At the back, Ochiyo’s expression became confused, and Atsuko sharply turned her head to train her eye on Kakuzu, searching. Kakuzu was never, ever, saved by _ anyone_, and Kakuzu never _ thanked _ anyone, either. 

The Yugakure-nin, however, noticed nothing amiss. “I’m happy to hear Hidan was useful to you,” Suzue said. “Very well, Kakuzu-san. We’ll go on ahead. Let’s move,” she addressed the others. They stepped out of the cavern and leapt away, Atsuko casting one last meaningful glance at Kakuzu before doing so. _ Explain later. _

A few minutes later, Kakuzu found Hidan knee deep in the river, trousers rolled up. He seemed to have successfully washed off all the blood from his face and torso, and now he had his shirt in the water to try and clean off the blood from there. 

At Kakuzu’s approach, Hidan looked up and grinned. He straightened, pushed back his wet hair, and put a hand on his hip. “Care to join me, Kakuzu?” 

“The team is moving to Konohagakure,” Kakuzu ignored him, standing at the river’s bank. He crossed his arms as Hidan stepped out of the river. When he started to shake out his hair, Kakuzu took a few steps back and impatiently wiped off the water from his face. 

“So you came all the way out here to get me?” Hidan said. He was grinning, hand pulling back his hair on his head. Perhaps unconsciously, he licked his bottom lip and puffed out his bare chest. 

“I wanted to tell you to keep the information about the Takigakure informant quiet,” Kakuzu said. 

“_Tell _ me?” Hidan laughed, although his smile became sharp. He tilted his head a little and said, “You’re not my captain, Suzue is. You can’t tell me to do _ anything—especially _ if it’s to lie to my teammates.” His tone was casual, but his eyes were hard. 

Kakuzu’s eyes narrowed. “I am _ asking _you to keep the information quiet,” he revised, voice tight. 

“Or what?” Hidan said, stepping closer. “You’ll kill me?” 

“You know I can’t.” There was no way he was going to explain that away to the others. He leaned back a little as Hidan stood almost chest to chest with him. Hidan’s movements were smooth and lazy, like that of a cat. His look, however, was that of a predator—one that was enjoying having something over Kakuzu. 

“Then why should I listen to you?” Hidan smirked and threw an elbow on Kakuzu’s shoulder. His arm hung, extended, behind Kakuzu. Kakuzu resisted the urge to throw it off. 

“For the sake of the mission,” Kakuzu answered tersely. “Forging doubts will undoubtedly deteriorate our cooperation and our alliance as a whole. We’ll fail the mission, probably die, and our villages will continue to be at war while struggling against the larger nations.” 

“I don’t think my village should ally itself with one that can’t even control its traitors, though,” Hidan mused aloud, inching closer. His damp chest was now brushing against Kakuzu’s shirt. “I don’t think _ yours _would want to do that either, would it?” 

Kakuzu tightened his grip on his own bicep to try and keep himself from striking Hidan. 

“And, besides, with the Konohagakure on alert, the mission’s likelihood of success is even lower now,” Hidan shrugged. “It’s basically not even worth going anymore.” 

“There’s no guarantee they know it’s happening,” Kakuzu countered. “You heard those Konoha-nin. Even they were doubting the validity.” 

“But they believed it enough to send out patrols, right?” Hidan pointed out. “Face it, old man: you have nothing to barter with. I’m not even sure why you’re trying to continue the mission anyway. You must know it’s a death sentence.” 

“That’s the definition of being a shinobi,” Kakuzu said impatiently. He was given orders, and now he was to follow them. That was the expectation. Deviation was not an option. 

Hidan snorted and rolled his eyes, visibly annoyed for the first time. “That’s bullshit and you know it. Villages need shinobi, but shinobi don’t need villages.” He grinned. “I bet you and I could make it pretty far without anyone else. I could tell you were strong even when I first met you. And I bet all that shit you were doing before wasn’t even you being serious.” A finger ran along Kakuzu’s collarbone. “Think about it: no rules, no loyalties—just freedom to do whatever the fuck you want.” 

“I’m asking you this as a favor,” Kakuzu changed tactics. Hidan’s eyes widened a little as Kakuzu continued, “You might not have loyalty to your village or your clan, but you seem to have a fixation on me.” 

Hidan scoffed. “‘_Fixation_’? Shit, you really know how to take the romance out of everything, don’t you, Kakuzu?” 

“Keep this quiet, and I’ll owe you—assuming we both survive, that is.” 

Hidan burst out into laughter. “You know what you’re offering, right? You’re saying you’ll be indebted to a foreign shinobi? I could ask you to commit treason, you know.” 

“You won’t,” Kakuzu snorted. “Not your style.” 

“Ha! Well, you’re probably right,” Hidan hummed. He considered Kakuzu for a moment before saying, “Alright, sure, I’ll keep quiet—but I’m keeping you to your word, Kakuzu.” 

Kakuzu visibly relaxed. “Alright, good—”

Suddenly, Hidan closed the narrow space between them and kissed Kakuzu. Hidan’s lips were on him for no longer than a second before Kakuzu reached out to seize him, but Hidan was already dancing away, laughing. 

“Just sealing the promise with something you’ll remember, old man,” Hidan smirked. “Also: that wasn’t the favor you owe me, so don’t even try and spin it like that.” 

In reply, Kakuzu spat on the ground and wiped off his mouth. _ This man is insane._

“Well, if that’s all, I’m ready to go,” Hidan said as he pulled on his shirt and vest. “Unless you want to stay behind a little longer?” He waggled his eyebrows. 

“We are staying back just long enough for me to warn the Takigakure,” Kakuzu frowned. “Then we will go.” 

“Ah, _ bo-oo-oring_,” Hidan drawled and folded his hands behind his head. “You’re lucky I think you’re hot, Kakuzu.” 

“I don’t feel very lucky,” Kakuzu glared. “Now be quiet. We’re leaving as soon as I finish.” 

* * *

Kakuzu watched as his summoned hawk cleared the trees, letter attached to its leg. In the likely event that they were all going to die tonight, Kakuzu felt it was necessary to warn the elders there was a leak somewhere in their system. He would just have to hope the message was not intercepted prematurely. 

“Alright, let’s go,” Kakuzu nodded to Hidan. Hidan did not reply, but he did throw Kakuzu a smile and a wink. Kakuzu returned it with a glare before taking off. Hidan followed close behind.

The entire trip, he stuck close to Kakuzu, no matter how fast or punishing Kakuzu’s speed was. He ran, jumped, and ducked shoulder to shoulder with Kakuzu, smug permanently plastered on his face. Kakuzu just ignored him as best as he could. If Hidan was so determined to prove he could keep up, that just meant they would reach the others faster. 

Once or twice during the journey, Hidan pressed as close as he could to Kakuzu without throwing the pair of them off balance. Kakuzu, who was more concerned with catching up with the group rather than trying to waste energy trying to dodge around Hidan, allowed it begrudgingly. Hidan was hardly even looking where he was going whenever he did this, however; mostly he was looking at Kakuzu. 

“Offer still stands, by the way,” Hidan said when they paused for a short break.

Kakuzu looked at him. “What offer?” 

“You, me, abandon our teammates, betray our people, and raze the earth! Duh.” 

Kakuzu snorted. “You really are crazy.” 

“Hey, I’m not _ crazy_, I’m honest. Shit, everyone acts like all this shit about the Five Great Countries and the Shinobi Organizational System is some new age world-saving fuckery or something. Sounds to me like the war period was way more fun.” 

“You’re barely twenty,” Kakuzu pointed out. “You would’ve been an infant even during the tail end of the war period.” 

“Yeah, and? Doesn’t mean I can’t have a fucking opinion,” Hidan snapped. 

“Why are you so eager to leave your village? An hour ago, you were ready to kill me for supposedly betraying them.” 

Hidan laughed. “You’re still mad about that? Sorry, sorry, didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything.” 

“That’s not what I said.” 

“Look, I don’t like it, but I have to follow the rules too,” Hidan shrugged. “And if we’re having a heart to heart—” 

“That is not what we’re having.” 

“—I was kind of hurt my crush might be trying to kill me!” Hidan sidled up close to Kakuzu until their shoulders were touching. Hidan leaned over and extended his arm behind Kakuzu to press his hand against the tree trunk. His chin was brushing up against Kakuzu’s shoulder when he added, “But I forgive you, so don’t worry.” 

Kakuzu rolled his eyes. 

“Look, I became a ninja because it sounded fun,” Hidan shrugged. “But all these fucking _ rules_—I mean, it’s such a fucking hassle to stick with all of them. I can’t act this way, I can’t do this thing, I can’t say this shit. I mean, who fucking cares? Honestly, recently, I was thinking about leaving all this shit behind.” 

“Brave of you to admit that to someone you’re supposed to be on a mission with.” 

“Yeah, but you’re not going to say shit,” Hidan grinned. “Because you _ li-ii-ike _me.” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“Well, I like _ you_,” Hidan’s voice dropped as he pressed close. Kakuzu could feel Hidan’s chest against his arm and felt the heat of his breath on his neck. “I think you’re pretty interesting, Kakuzu—and you might be fun too, if you got that stick out of your ass.” 

Kakuzu shrugged him off at last. “Enough. We’ve rested long enough. Let’s get going.” 

Hidan gave a dramatic sigh, but pulled away willingly enough. “Honestly, Kakuzu,” he said lightly, “you should learn to live a little!” 

The sky was beginning to redden as they caught up with the rest of the team. They were waiting in trees just outside of the city walls. Despite the village’s relative youth, its city life was bustling, and it seemed to already be boasting a moderate marketplace and housed a medium-sized neighborhood of civilians. In the center, there was a large building that towered over everything else—the Hokage’s building, Kakuzu assumed. 

“What’s the status?” Kakuzu asked by way of announcing their arrival, he and Hidan appearing in branches just above the others. 

“It seems the other patrols are returning,” Suzue said. “We saw some shinobi teams returning through the gate. They’re still coming in, so we have some time before anyone notices the ones you took out are missing.” 

“Good,” Kakuzu nodded. “In that case, we should move now before any suspicion is raised. We’ll infiltrate the village using Atsuko-san’s shadow jutsu. Does everyone remember their positions?” 

There was a round of nods. Kakuzu glanced at Hidan at his side, who looked at ease and, for once, keeping his mouth shut. It seemed he was going to keep his end of the bargain. This relieved Kakuzu, although he had to question why Hidan came all this way at this point if he made it clear he was not particularly committed to his village nor being a shinobi. Kakuzu was beginning to think it was just as likely he was going to abandon the mission as well as blow it. 

But it seemed Hidan was going along with it for now. _ Maybe he’s just bored_, Kakuzu thought to himself dryly. That seemed like the sort of thing Hidan would do. Just two days and Kakuzu felt like he had already figured the man out. 

“Then let’s go,” Kakuzu told everyone. “Move out!” 

* * *

“What shall we do with him, Hokage-sama?” 

Kakuzu stirred awake and felt a sharp pain rip through him like lightning. He grit his teeth and could not stop the groan that escaped him. Distantly, he felt cool wood underneath his cheek and the warm stickiness of blood seeping through his clothes and onto the floor. His head was pounding, and he could not open one of his eyes. 

“He’s still alive!” a voice, different from the one before, exclaimed. Kakuzu heard the familiar metallic clink of a kunai being drawn.

“That’s impressive,” a third commented, “what with his injuries. Put that away, Mutsumi; his entire body’s shredded. He’s not moving anywhere thanks to Hokage-sama.”

“He shouldn’t even be alive,” Mutsumi said, and there was another clink as he stowed his weapon. “Even if Hokage-sama was only using a fraction of his strength, no one’s ever survived that jutsu before. All of the other ones hit by it died.” 

“It was a technique he had,” a fourth voice chimed in, low and smooth. “I wasn’t expecting it. It hardened his skin.”

“A defensive technique?” the first voice said. “It must’ve been quite strong to keep him from dying.” 

“Indeed. It also seemed to be an effective offensive tool—but that’s beside the point. Send word to the Takigakure and send him back.” 

There was a ripple of dissent. “Hokage-sama?” 

“Send him back,” the Hokage emphasized. 

“He was sent to assassinate you, sir!” one protested. 

“This is an act of war,” another agreed. 

“War is the exact thing we’re trying to avoid,” the Hokage argued. “We already killed most of the others that were with him. He barely lived, and he’s a shinobi following orders. I will not kill this man in cold blood.” 

“Hokage-sama, it’s hardly in cold blood if—” 

“Sending him back will also send a message to the Takigakure,” Hashirama pressed. “They’ll have to acknowledge how pointless it is to start a war with us after they hear what’s happened, especially from their own shinobi. Maybe that will encourage them to embrace peace instead. Besides, it is up to them how to deal with their own.” 

There was an uncomfortable shuffling in the room as Kakuzu struggled to move—to flex, to stretch, to _ twitch_! He couldn’t go back to the Takigakure in this state—not like this. Not as some humiliating example to threaten the Takigakure into submission—and guised as a gesture of goodwill, no less! It was more than humiliating, it was _ degrading_. It was pathetic, it was pitiful— 

“Yes, Hokage-sama,” the room finally murmured. “We’ll tend to his wounds and arrange for him to be returned to the Takigakure.”

_ Don’t touch me_, Kakuzu mentally spat, but no part of his body would respond to his orders. His nerves were overwhelmed with pain. It was all he could do to remain conscious—and he could even feel that quickly slipping away. 

“Good. Were there any survivors?” 

“Only a Yugakure weapons shinobi in the party that ambushed the guard. He escaped almost immediately,” someone reported. “Frankly, he didn’t seem very committed, Hokage-sama. He abandoned the others almost as soon as the fighting broke out…” 

So Hidan abandoned them after all. The fact angered Kakuzu, but the predictability of it was a strange comfort. As he felt hands on him, he distantly remembered their last conversation: about leaving the life of shinobi behind, about sticking out on their own, about following no orders but their own. 

_ A nice dream to die to_, Kakuzu thought to himself as he slipped back into unconsciousness. With luck, and with some hope, he would die before ever reaching the Takigakure. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we now return to a relatively "present" time in naruto, although neither of them are akatsuki yet. however, they have both lived probably at least 70 years at this point.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as a reminder, this chapter is unfinished and i don't know when i'll ever finish it. however, I liked the general concept of this piece and the previous one enough that it didn't sit right with me to not share what I had, so. here it is.

Out of all of them, Kakuzu was sure the Land of Wind was his most hated. It was always hot, the wind constantly tangled his hair despite being under a hood, and sand blew into his mask and between his stitches. More than once, whenever he traveled through here, he was sure he was carrying a beach’s worth of sand in his threads. It would sometimes take weeks for all of the grains to leave his body. 

His beige cloak flapped in the wind, shielding him from the brunt of the wind and sand buffeting him. Kakuzu had to begrudgingly admit that the investment in new clothes was a good one; the people of the Land of Wind had developed very effective wear to counteract their harsh environment over the years. His shoes, as well, had textured soles ideal for gripping onto sand. The last time he tried on their clothes, they were no more than layers of ragged cloth—but that was many, many years ago. 

Usually, he used any excuse to stay out of the Land of Wind. The only times he had been here were during wartime, when he had been handsomely paid for his services. Today, however, he was merely chasing a bounty that had climbed so high, he could no longer excuse ignoring or passing it up—no matter who it was. 

It was midday by the time he arrived at a small village. The sun was high in the sky and beating down on the round adobe houses. The village was notably silent as Kakuzu approached the entrance: a simple wood arch erected on two tall pillars. He paused underneath this arch and surveyed the situation. There was an unmistakably evil energy here—killing intent that permeated through the air—but there did not seem to be any fighting going on.

Kakuzu stepped forward and began walking through the village on the stamped down path. His eyes shifted from right to left and back again, taking in his surroundings: most of the buildings seemed to be small, unassuming homes. There were a few buildings he identified from the signs as restaurants or shops. He passed a trading post. All of them were empty. 

It was clear this was a minor village that likely depended on the Sunagakure for support when needed. Usually, there would be a few shinobi stationed at such villages, as well. While there were no signs of the living, neither did the village seem abandoned; there were signs people had recently been here, whether it was with footprints not yet buried by sand, or by set tables Kakuzu spotted through windows. 

Kakuzu paused some paces into the village, then, and considered the splash of crimson blood on the side of a building. It was still fresh enough that it was dripping down the wall and onto the sand beneath. When he moved forward and looked around the corner, he saw a young woman with her neck sliced open collapsed against the wall. One of her arms had also been cut off, and there was a large wound on her stomach, which was spilling out some of her insides. These cuts seemed hackneyed and frenzied. Additionally, she had a variety of bruises, and a leg seemed to be broken. A brutal, senseless sort of killing. 

Kakuzu continued further into the village. Gradually, the number of bodies and amount of blood grew. Soon, he found himself side-stepping pools of blood in his path. None of the bodies seemed to have been killed in the exact same way, and none of the victims had any commonalities; as far as Kakuzu could tell, any child, man, and woman was killed indiscriminately with the same depravity as the first woman he found. None of the bodies seemed to have been disturbed after dying, and none were looted. It seemed whatever killed them simply wished to kill for the sake of killing. 

At last, Kakuzu arrived in the village square, where there was a verifiable mound of bodies piled in the center. They were collapsed on top of each other, creating a hill, and on top, pinned with a stake through his leg to the rest, was a shinobi. Underneath him were three more, and the rest seemed to be civilians. At the base of the pile, limbs splayed and with a spear through the heart, lied a topless man with black and white skin, similar to that of a skeleton, inside a circle and triangle drawn in blood. Within arm’s reach of him was a red, triple-bladed scythe whose blades were buried in the ground. A metal cable connected the handle of the scythe to spools at the man’s hip. The man did not seem to be breathing. 

Kakuzu paused for a moment to confirm that nothing was going to leap out at him. This seemed to be where the trail of carnage led. So where was the culprit? He was sure his information and tracking had been accurate. He did not believe anyone had left this village. 

When there was no movement, he at last stepped into the square and circled the pile of dead bodies first. They were all clearly dead, but some still had blood dripping down their fingers, so they were freshly so. Kakuzu noted with interest that the four shinobi at the top did not seem to have serious cuts like the other civilians—just shallow abrasions on their hands, neck, or faces. Additionally, these shinobi were littered with stab wounds across their limbs and chest. None of the other victims had been stabbed. 

Eventually, he lapped around to where he came, where the man in the circle had been. As soon as Kakuzu spotted him, he frowned. His skin was no longer black. Cautiously, Kakuzu stepped forward and peered at the man’s face. Now that it was no longer covered by the ridiculous white markings, Kakuzu could recognize it easily—from both the image in his bingo book and from his own memory. 

_ Hidan._ It seemed impossible, but Kakuzu was staring right at him. His hair was white now instead of brown, but his face was unmistakable; it seemed as if he had not aged a day since they last saw each other—and that was a very long time ago, indeed. It was during the era of the first Hokage, when they were sent on a joint mission between their two villages to assassinate him. Back then, Hidan was impulsive, disrespectful, and overconfident. He also lacked loyalty and was very selfish; the last time Kakuzu heard, Hidan had abandoned the mission as soon as they were attacked by Hashirama—and presumably defected from his village, too. Clearly, he had been getting along just fine since then. 

Kakuzu had never expected to see or hear about Hidan again. Yet, over time, Kakuzu began hearing rumors of a reaper—a terrifying killing force that cut down his enemies without reason. As bounty hunting became more popular, this reaper quickly became the target for many hunters, and slowly, pictures of him began to appear. 

However, while Kakuzu had seen Hidan’s face in wanted posters and in his book over the years, these were always drawings, which were known to be inaccurate, or blurry photos taken from a distance, so he could never be certain it was the Hidan he knew. Somehow, Kakuzu supposed, he had half-convinced himself that he was simply seeing familiar features in these images where there were none. Despite this, and despite Hidan’s bounty, Kakuzu avoided seeking him out. Hidan represented memories that he had no desire to revisit, and with other targets bearing a much greater amount than he, Kakuzu had no problems justifying his avoidance. 

But as of late, Hidan’s bounty had shot up, making him one of the most notorious targets in the world. Kakuzu could no longer avoid the exorbitant rewards on Hidan’s head. Still, the idea that Hidan had lived since those events felt surreal and inexplicable—although Kakuzu was one to talk. 

However, the proof was before him. There was no mistaking that this was not Hidan. Kakuzu noted the silver necklace he was wearing had the same triangle-in-circle design as the one Hidan was lying in, and also noticed that Hidan’s skin seemed to be completely unscarred or unblemished—aside from the spear in his heart, obviously. This struck Kakuzu as suspect; no one could have survived almost a century in this world without sustaining some sort of serious physical injury or scar. Was this Hidan after all, or simply some individual mimicking Hidan’s looks? If this were true, why take Hidan’s looks at all? And how did this explain the numerous reports and sightings of Hidan through the years? 

Kakuzu waited and observed as he considered these things. He had wondered if the change in skin from black and white back to pale signified something, and therefore exercised caution, but Hidan did not move. It certainly seemed as if Kakuzu’s job had been done for him; apparently, Hidan decided to die all by himself before Kakuzu ever arrived. This saved Kakuzu some trouble. 

Still, this entire situation struck Kakuzu as off—especially because of who it was he was staring at. Assuming this _ was _Hidan, and he had lived for another seventy years since then, then would he have really been felled by a wound as direct and obvious as a stab to the heart? And what was the symbolism of his necklace and the design underneath him? And, if someone indeed killed Hidan here, why leave the body? Why not collect the reward on him? 

Deciding that, whatever the situation was, he could handle it well enough, he reached out and grasped the spear in Hidan’s chest. He jostled it experimentally and found it had been buried quite deep into the sand. With a mild grunt, Kakuzu uprooted the spear and removed it from Hidan’s chest. 

“Ouch—fuck!” 

Kakuzu froze and looked at Hidan’s face. He felt his eyes widen as he watched Hidan wake up, frown, and half-rise onto his elbow to look at the hole in his chest, casual. 

“What the fuck did you do that for?” Hidan demanded, looking up to glare at Kakuzu. His eyes, once black all those years ago, were now a violent shade of red, like carnage. “That fucking _ hurts_, you prick! And I didn’t even finish fucking praying yet. Fuck! Jashin-sama is very strict about that shit, you know! He’s going to punish you for insolence and disturbing a holy ritual! Fucking dicking around with a holy man. What's wrong with you?” 

“You’re alive.” It was a statement rather than a question, and mostly rhetorical. Still, Hidan snorted and replied, “Yeah, _ obviously_. What, you’ve never seen an immortal before?”

Even after sixty years, Hidan had not developed an ounce of respect. Kakuzu frowned a little underneath his mask. 

“Hey, you seem pretty strong,” Hidan continued casually, now standing up. Kakuzu found himself staring through a hole in Hidan’s chest, where his heart should be. When he looked back up, he found Hidan considering him. 

“Yeah, you seem like a tough guy,” Hidan nodded approvingly. “Hey, you ever heard of the Way of Jashin? We followers of Jashin-sama abide by his rules of total destruction and annihilation! Killing and suffering are the biggest offerings we give to Jashin-sama, and in exchange, he blesses us with strength and immortality—if you’re strong enough, that is, which I think you might be! Of course, you’d have to prove yourself for a few years, perform rituals, and show Jashin-sama you can follow his creeds—Jashin-sama is very strict, so you can’t slip up—” 

“I’m not here to convert to anything,” Kakuzu cut Hidan off, narrowing his eyes. _Jashin_. Hidan had mentioned the word Jashin a few times when they first met. Apparently, it had been a religion all along. This struck Kakuzu as ironic—Hidan was the farthest from a religious man that Kakuzu could think of. Had he already subscribed to this religion back then? 

“What? Then what are you doing here?” Hidan frowned. 

“I’m here to collect your bounty.”

Hidan made a disgusted noise. “Oh, great. Another money-obsessed heathen.” He rolled his eyes. “Greed is a very serious sin in the eyes of Jashin-sama, you know. The total antithesis of a pious life, you know? Something that really pisses off a devout man like me.” Suddenly, Hidan gripped the metal cord at his hip and gave it a mighty jerk, dislodging the scythe behind him and bringing it to his hand. The next moment, he was swinging at Kakuzu, shouting, “Please watch me, Jashin-sama, as I cut down this defiler!” 

With a surprised grunt, Kakuzu dropped the spear he had taken from Hidan and jumped back. The blades on Hidan’s scythe just barely missed Kakuzu’s cloak as he did so. He barely had an opportunity to get his bearings, however, when Hidan ran at him again with a crazed battlecry, scythe in tow. Deftly, Kakuzu jumped away once more. Laughing with zeal, Hidan now threw the scythe at him, metal cord extending from his hip. It approached quickly and precisely—much more so than Kakuzu would have expected with its weight. Still, he sidestepped the blow just like all the others. 

“Fuck, stop jumping around!” Hidan frowned as he yanked back the scythe. Just as back then, it seemed Hidan was adept at working with large, unwieldy weapons. This scythe looked even harder to maneuver than whatever he used back then—and did not seem particularly useful for execution, what with its three blades. It could rend, tear, and cut just as well, but killing with it seemed cumbersome; it did not beget clean cuts. Kakuzu wondered if this was on purpose. 

“What, you don’t want to fight, bitch?” Hidan demanded, leaping at him. The scythe plunged into the dirt and sand where Kakuzu had just been standing, tearing up debris. “Man, maybe you won’t make such a great sacrifice after all!” Another swing, and Kakuzu dodged again. “Jashin-sama _hates_ receiving weak offerings!” The scythe flew towards him. Kakuzu jumped back, then felt solid wall behind him. A brief, cursory glance behind him confirmed he had been backed into a building. Hidan laughed triumphantly as he yanked back his scythe and barreled forward. “It’s over for you now!” 

Kakuzu quickly pressed his hands together to release Earth Spear just as the blades sliced towards his neck. He felt the strong reverberation of steel as it made impact, but the scythe dragged harmlessly against his hardened skin. Kakuzu made to grab the scythe in an attempt to tear it out of Hidan’s hands, but it was drawn back too fast. Hidan was already jumping back a step, and his expression had turned perplexed as he reconsidered Kakuzu. 

“That’s some pretty nice jutsu,” Hidan commented, brow furrowed. Kakuzu’s eyes narrowed before he cast a series of hand seals. Presently, the lightning mask on his back rattled to attention. While Kakuzu did not release it in its entirety, the mask and some threads came away from his back, wound its way underneath and out of his cloak, and turned to face Hidan much like an extra appendage. Hidan surprise was pronounced when he saw it. 

“What the fu—” 

“Lightning Style: False Darkness!”

With a wooden clack, the mask blasted out a concentrated blast of electricity straight at Hidan. He was able to dodge the first blast, leaving a burned, blackened area at his feet. Before he could regain his balance, Kakuzu released another blast at Hidan midair. This time, Hidan threw his scythe towards the ground, lodged the blades in the sand, then yanked himself down by tugging on his steel cable. The way Hidan used his weapon, Kakuzu observed begrudgingly, was creative and almost certainly displayed his experience with using it. It reminded Kakuzu of Hidan’s skills back in their youth, although it seemed over the years he had improved even further. For most, Kakuzu was sure, Hidan would prove to be a difficult opponent. 

However, Hidan was not the only one that had a few decades of experience. 

“Hey, what’s the name of that jutsu you were using?” Hidan asked as Kakuzu readied another attack. He shot another bolt of electricity at Hidan, ignoring him. Impatiently, Hidan jumped out of the way and snapped, “No, you fucking dipshit, not _ that _one, the one that made your skin hard!” 

Kakuzu blinked. Did Hidan remember his Earth Spear from back then? He was surprised he did; Hidan never struck Kakuzu as a particularly attentive ninja, and even then, it seemed unlikely he would bother remembering a jutsu from over fifty years ago. 

“Answer me, heathen!” Hidan demanded, swinging his scythe to point it at Kakuzu accusingly. “That was an earth style technique, wasn’t it? What’s the name of it?” 

“Who knows,” Kakuzu replied inexplicably. 

“Jashin, don’t be annoying!” Hidan snapped. “You know Kakuzu, don’t you? That’s where you learned the technique from?” 

Kakuzu blinked again before saying, “Who?” 

Hidan let out an enraged sound. “I haven’t seen anyone use that shit for—how long has it been now, even? Fuck! Point is, I’ve never seen anyone use that shit since Kakuzu! You his friend or his family or some shit?” 

“What does it matter?” 

Now it was Hidan’s turn to blink. He regarded Kakuzu before snapping, “Fuck! It fucking doesn’t! Don’t get the wrong idea; it’s just been a while since I’ve met anyone related to all that shit from that far back, so I figured that I—” 

Deftly, Kakuzu released another shot of False Darkness. Hidan, without missing a beat, darted away while throwing his scythe at Kakuzu. Kakuzu jumped away easily, as before, but before either he or the scythe landed, Hidan tugged at the cable in his hand. Suddenly, the scythe changed trajectory, the blades angling towards Kakuzu from behind at impressive speed. Kakuzu, still in midair, felt his eyes widen the slightest bit before hardening his skin. Not a moment later, all three blades scraped against his cheek harmlessly, but his mask was not so lucky; it ripped and tore off along with half of his hood, exposing the rest of Kakuzu’s face and some of his hair. 

Hidan made a triumphant noise as his scythe clapped back into his hand. Impatiently, Kakuzu pulled off the rest of his hood—it was blowing away and useless now, anyway—before straightening and challenging Hidan’s eager look with his own glare. Unabashedly, Hidan’s eyes flickered over Kakuzu’s now exposed face. Kakuzu did not miss how Hidan paused at the stitches along his cheeks.

“Holy Jashin,” Hidan breathed before throwing his arms wide open. “Holy shit, is that you, Kakuzu?” Hidan laughed, his scythe swinging to his side. “So you’re immortal too?” 

Kakuzu heard himself snort. “Don’t be ridiculous.” 

Hidan blinked and frowned. “Huh? The fuck are you talking about? You’re Kakuzu, right? From back then? How are you fucking standing there if you’re not fucking immortal, fucking idiot?” 

Kakuzu answered by moving his hands to cast False Darkness again. Immediately, Hidan tensed and lifted his scythe to defend. Before Kakuzu could cast anything, however, Hidan snapped, “What the fuck? Are you serious? You’re still trying to fucking kill me?” 

“You were about to do the same,” Kakuzu pointed out placidly. 

Hidan frowned. “Well—I mean, yeah—but, come on, give me a fucking break! I didn’t know it was you! You had your face covered and shit—not that I can blame you. What the fuck happened to your face, huh?” 

Kakuzu was not even going to dignify that with a response—but neither did he attack. His lightning mask stood at attention, mouth open and ready, but no lightning came. Meanwhile, Hidan was sighing and shaking his head, apparently despondent.

“Man, I really shouldn’t be letting you go. Jashin-sama hates that shit.” Hidan glanced over the pile of bodies in the square and practically pouted. “I made such a good sacrifice to him, too. I’d be ruining it by leaving you alive.” 

So Hidan was the one that created the mound of bodies. The gory manner the other bodies died in made sense, Kakuzu supposed, as he eyed Hidan’s ridiculous scythe. With three blades, it would certainly tear through skin and muscle, albeit messily, as many of the corpses had looked. But the shinobi’s stab wounds would not have come from that scythe. Idly, Kakuzu’s glance slid from Hidan’s scythe to the spear he had abandoned on the ground behind Hidan. Were those for throwing? They did not seem practical for the close-combat style Hidan seemed to favor. And why did Kakuzu find one of them driven through Hidan’s own chest? 

Kakuzu snorted again, looking back at Hidan. “Again with this ‘Jashin’ nonsense.” 

“What’s that? _Nonsense_?” Hidan repeated, whipping around to glare at Kakuzu. His voice pitched with indignation as he brandished his scythe again. “Are you really talking shit about Jashin-sama right now? Holy fuck, nevermind, you _absolutely _deserve to die a fucking terrible, painful, disgusting, fucked up death, you absolute—” 

“Quiet,” Kakuzu said abruptly, cutting Hidan off. He raised a hand for emphasis as he tilted his head to the side. 

To Kakuzu’s mild surprise, Hidan actually stopped speaking, although he had a feeling it was out of sheer shock, because the other man almost immediately opened his mouth again to say something else. A withering glare, however, and a pointed glance eastward made Hidan hesitate long enough to sense the presence of approaching shinobi. 

“A scouting party,” Kakuzu presumed grimly. Perhaps they were tipped off about the massacre happening, or were tracking Hidan like Kakuzu had been. Whatever the reason, they were now being collapsed on by multiple ninjas. Kakuzu briefly considered if it was worth it to fight them _ and _ Hidan in the interest of Hidan’s bounty. There’s no telling how many ninjas are coming, much less if they have reinforcements following. And while it’s true Hidan’s bounty was exorbitant, Kakuzu had not lived this long by being _ reckless_. He could hardly enjoy Hidan’s bounty, after all, if he was _ dead_. 

Presently, his lightning mask shut its mouth with a decisive _ clack _ and snapped back underneath his cloak and into his body. Kakuzu did not miss Hidan eyeing the proceedings with open curiosity, but he ignored it. With a _ humph_, Kakuzu straightened his cloak and turned away from Hidan. 

“Hey!” Hidan hissed. “Where the fuck are you going?” 

Kakuzu ignored him. What Kakuzu did was certainly not Hidan’s concern, and in conjunction with the fact that he was walking away from a monstrous bounty, his asking only served to irritate Kakuzu further. Still, he did not turn back, just slipped between buildings to find a covert way to escape the town. 

“Hey, I’m talking to you, asshole!” Hidan said again, and to Kakuzu’s great displeasure, he darted after him. 

“Quiet,” Kakuzu repeated, glaring over his shoulder. “You’ll lead them right to us.” 

“So?” Hidan snorted. “I’ll just fucking kill them! What, you can’t handle them, Kakuzu? Didn’t think you’d grow into such a fucking bitch, but I guess that’s why you spent that entire fight running away from me, huh?” 

“_Enough_,” Kakuzu growled. He glared at Hidan, face pulled in a scowl and on full display thanks to the fact that Hidan rid of his mask. “We’re being converged on by a shinobi team and who knows how many else. If you want to kill yourself fighting them, be my guest, but don’t make the mistake of thinking I’ll be sticking around.” Although the mental image of Hidan being slaughtered by a ninja cell was, Kakuzu had to admit, immensely satisfying. Even a few minutes of listening to his yammering gave Kakuzu an undeniable itch to tear Hidan’s head off. 

“Like fuck you get to walk away,” Hidan snapped and jabbed an accusatory finger at Kakuzu. “You still need to pay for your transgressions against Jashin-sama, heathen fuck!” 

Now Kakuzu really was snarling—a guttural, ferocious sound that ripped from his throat as he now fully stopped, even though he’s perfectly aware he can’t afford to, so he could round on Hidan. “_Look_,” Kakuzu started, even though he, himself, was not sure what he was going to say. What was Kakuzu going to do, threaten him? They didn’t have time for that, and besides: apparently, Hidan was durable enough to not only live for seventy years, but Kakuzu saw him rise from a direct wound to the heart. 

Hidan’s expression was expectant—gleefully challenging, even, as if he knew exactly what Kakuzu was thinking—but before either of them could get another word out, a high-pitched whining made their heads snap up. For a moment, there was nothing amiss as they stared up at the sliver of sky between two buildings. The increased pitch in sound as well as the slightest of shimmers in the air was the only warning they got before Kakuzu hardened his skin and Hidan dropped to the ground. Not a second later, the air itself seemed to erupt, a crash of sharp, cyclone-like wind ripping through the area. Even against Kakuzu’s Earth Spear, he could feel the razor-sharpness of the wind. It tore through his cloak and sliced through the ends of his hair. 

Luckily, such powerful jutsu could not be maintained for very long durations. The razor wind petered out after less than a minute. Kakuzu cautiously left his Earth Spear on as he assessed the damage: the stone around him had been gouged out as if assaulted by finely-sharpened swords, indiscriminately sliced across the adobe. Kakuzu’s cloak had been ripped to ribbons. He undid the clasp to abandon the remaining rags that hung off him. His pants, as well, were shredded up its length. His shirt, however, was more lucky, having been underneath his cloak. From what he could tell, his hair was also now hackneyed and uneven. Yet, while he would need to spend money on replacing his clothes, Kakuzu was fortunate he did not come away with serious injuries. 

A glance at Hidan on the ground, however, told Kakuzu he was not so lucky. There was a puddle of blood soaking the hard-packed sand, bright and crimson. There were lacerations covering Hidan’s entire back, which was turned up towards Kakuzu. He could only presume his chest was attacked similarly. There were gashes of varying depth all over his body, but what was most alarming was one large gouge between Hidan’s left ribs and one cut so deep in his right shoulder that his arm was practically falling off. From what Kakuzu could tell, the wind had sliced almost completely through bone, which meant the limb was hanging just with skin and muscle. 

“Shit—fuck!” Hidan spat into the ground. Kakuzu eyed him with interest as he struggled to his knees, hissing as he assessed his own wounds. “_Fuck _, that hurts like fuck. I’m gonna fuck those fucks up, I swear to Jashin-sama…” Hidan continued to mutter expletives to himself as he used his left hand to hold up his right arm, pressing the arm against his shoulder to close the wound. Even as Kakuzu watched, the more shallow cuts on Hidan’s skin were healing themselves, closing up into smooth, unblemished skin. Kakuzu’s eyes narrowed just the slightest amount. _Interesting_. Not only did Hidan seem to be able to survive mortal wounds, but he also seemed to be able to heal rapidly. Well, perhaps Kakuzu should’ve seen that coming; the stab wound in his heart from before was already gone. 

It seemed, however, more severe injuries were not so quick. Kakuzu waited for Hidan’s large side wound and his arm to heal over, but these seemed to be going slower. Hidan clicked his tongue and hissed as he fruitlessly tried to get his left hand to respond. 

It was obvious Hidan would not be useful in the fight. Meanwhile, Kakuzu could tell they were being surrounded. That wind jutsu was meant to weaken and dismember them, if not kill them outright. The method was indiscriminate and sudden, but the shinobi did not need to worry about civilian casualties after seeing the display in the square. Kakuzu briefly considered abandoning Hidan—but there was no guarantee that Kakuzu would be able to get away by himself, which meant he would be forced to fight alone against multiple unknown enemies. While Hidan was not exactly an ideal ally—well, what was that saying? _The enemy of my enemy… _

Kakuzu made a snap decision. He approached Hidan with one purposeful stride. At the same time, he raised his hand and released a single tendril of thread that reached out for Hidan’s shoulder. 

“What the fuck?” Hidan snapped, backing away a half-step. 

“Hold still, imbecile,” Kakuzu frowned. 

“The fuck is that shit?” Hidan demanded, on the defensive. 

“What’s going to save your life,” Kakuzu replied impatiently, now releasing more threads to quickly grasp Hidan’s legs and waist to keep him from running. “We both have more likelihood of getting out alive if we’re both in fighting form.” 

“What, like I’m supposed to give a shit about you?” Hidan snorted and struggled against Kakuzu’s thread-grip. “Fucking let go of me! Putting hands on a holy man is a fucking offense against Jashin-sama, you know—” 

“Quiet!” Kakuzu snarled as he stabbed the skin around Hidan’s shoulder at last. Hidan hissed both his displeasure and disgust, but Kakuzu only restrained him with more threads as he quickly stitched Hidan’s loose limb back onto his body. The work was sloppy and uneven—typically, Kakuzu would’ve been more careful, but they were pressed for time. He was also spending a considerable amount of effort tuning out Hidan’s swearing and complaints, which ranged from defiling a devout follower of Jashin to talking about how itchy this was making him feel. 

The process itself probably took less than thirty seconds, but Kakuzu thought it might’ve taken an eon for how intolerable Hidan was acting. Still, by the time he finished, Hidan’s complaints had tapered off, and his expression had melted from scorn to mild amazement. Kakuzu assumed Hidan was already noticing his motor skills in his arm had returned. 

“I’m done,” Kakuzu said, pulling away, and Hidan experimentally flexed his fingers and rotated his arm. 

“Don’t move too much,” Kakuzu warned as he stepped to Hidan’s right to start on the gash on his side, “or they’ll tear.” 

“Huh,” Hidan said. “Guess I’m not the only one that picked up some shit over the years, huh, Kakuzu?” 

Kakuzu was about to growl out a retort, but evidently they were out of time. Suddenly, both the exit and the entrance of the alley was blocked by Sunagakure shinobi. There were four—two on each ends. 

“They’re alive,” said one—one of the pair closest to Kakuzu, wearing a headwrap and veil over most of his face save for his eyes. 

“Clearly,” said another, a woman, who was wearing light armor over a netted outfit and carrying a large warfan on her back and closest to Hidan. She was clearly frowning—both out of frustration and confusion. “It was a full blast. They should be seriously wounded at least.” 

“What are your names?” said the covered man. Kakuzu’s eyes slid over to him, narrowing, assessing. Four did not seem too troublesome, but if they called for reinforcements, they would need to move quickly. 

“Answer him!” pressed a third man, eyes obscured by goggles against the sand. “Who are you people?” 

“We should just get on with it,” said the woman, gripping her warfan’s handle. “Who else would’ve done all that killing? The bodies were still fresh. It was depraved, what they did.” 

“They’re missing-nin,” the fourth agreed grimly, neck and chin obscured by his cloak but his beady eyes watchful. “Look at their protectors: both scratched out. No one’s going to miss them.” 

“Probably worth a good reward,” the woman added viciously, now fully releasing her fan and brandishing it as much as she can in the narrow space. “Don’t move!” she added sharply as Hidan bent to pick up his scythe. Hidan only snorted. 

“Or what?” he said. “You’ll kill me?” Hidan snorted again as he made to grip his scythe’s handle. “Fucking heathens standing around yammering…” 

Suddenly, a kunai whizzed through the air and sliced across the top of Hidan’s hand. He yelped as it did so, hissing, but he kept enough presence of mind to at least keep his grip on his scythe. As he hefted it up, the third man with goggles on his face disappeared in a whirl of sand. Not a moment later, the sand underneath Hidan and Kakuzu’s feet began to kick up, swirling around their ankles and moving upwards. 

“Fuck, what the fuck is this?” Hidan demanded as he swatted at the sand in vain. Kakuzu ignored him, opting instead to harden his skin once again. At the same time, he made a few hand seals, then said, “Hidan, duck!” 

Kakuzu didn’t bother to check if Hidan heeded his warning. Not a moment later, the lightning mask came out to face Kakuzu’s left and his fire mask came out towards his right. The Suna shinobi only had a moment to express their surprise before Kakuzu released his two justus. 

The alleyway erupted as blasts of fire and lightning ripped through the small space. The already weakened adobe walls against them cracked at further duress. At the same time, the sand around their legs receded—most likely because the ninja that had been casting the jutsu was retreating some safe distance—and the other three members of the shinobi cell darted out of the way. Once an opening was clear, Kakuzu darted for the exit, impatiently pushing past falling debris and collapsing wall. 

The two buildings came down completely just as Kakuzu cleared them. At his side, he was mildly surprised to find, was Hidan, who was disheveled but in one piece. He was gripping the deep gash on his side, but it was certainly less severe than it had been a few minutes before, and his arm was still attached properly. 

They had little time to recoup, however, when the air began to ripple and whistle again. It was the same high-pitched whining as before. Kakuzu swore under his breath before releasing his wind mask. 

“How many fucking things do you have in there?” Hidan demanded. Kakuzu ignored him, quickly made a few hand seals, and released his own blast of wind. 

“Wind Style: Pressure Damage!” 

The wind mask released a cyclone of high-pressure air just as the Sunagakure attack reached them. The two wind jutsu crashed against and buffeted each other, making the very air ripple and the sand in the air whip into the air and haphazardly fly around. However, most importantly, neither of the jutsus overpowered the other; Kakuzu was correct in estimating his Pressure Damage would cancel out the other attack. Kakuzu and Hidan were unscathed as both jutsus petered out. 

Kakuzu waited for a moment, wondering if there would be another attack, before darting away further into the desert when none came. He could only assume the other shinobi were regrouping and trying to formulate another plan. Kakuzu was in no mood to stay still while this went on. He had to get out of Wind Country and lower his head for a while if he wanted to lose this heat—all thanks to _Hidan_, he reflected ferociously. Despite any innocence on the matter, Kakuzu was now associated not only with Hidan’s massacre in the village, but with Hidan, himself. Of course, Kakuzu had quite a laundry list of crimes himself, but to be associated with such a high-profile and loud-mouthed rogue ninja… 

“Holy shit!” Hidan cackled. Kakuzu gave a sharp glance to his side to find Hidan running alongside him, laughing. “That shit was awesome! Old age definitely hasn’t made you any less fun, Kakuzu.” 

“What are you doing here?” Kakuzu snarled. 

“The fuck do you mean?” Hidan said, grin instantly changing into a deep frown. “I said you don’t get to walk away, didn’t I? You still need to repent to Jashin-sama!” 

Kakuzu made an unintelligible growling sound. The last thing he needed was Hidan tailing him and increasing rumors about their partnership. Still, perhaps this was a blessing in disguise; if Hidan was so intent on staying with Kakuzu, then once they made satisfactory space between themselves and the Sunagakure, Kakuzu could finally take the time to cash in on Hidan’s bounty. Briefly, he wondered if Hidan would survive a strike directly to the brain—or beheading, perhaps… 

“Hey, what are you looking at, you old fuck? Huh?” Hidan demanded, glaring. Kakuzu blinked and refocused at Hidan’s look, expression impassive. After a moment, without a word, Kakuzu slid his eyes away to stare straight ahead. 

“Yeah, you better fucking look away, piece of shit,” Hidan said, scornful. “Fucking heathen-ass fuck face. By the way, you still haven’t told me about what happened to your face yet—” 

“Hidan,” Kakuzu said, “_shut up_.” 

* * *

With his present company, the tall trees of the Land of Fire inexplicably bring back unwelcome memories. 

It’d been some time since the early days of the Land of Fire. The young trees from back then had grown into tough, grand ones that had spread their arms out over wider berths. Their leaves gave them adequate cover as Kakuzu and Hidan slipped across the border and into the Land of Fire’s deep forestry. 

“Finally,” Hidan snapped as they stopped at last. “You finished running now? Can I finally fucking kill your sorry ass in the name of Jashin-sama?” 

Kakuzu snarled. Days of travel with Hidan’s grating drivel had taken his toll on him. 

“You could’ve killed me at any point during our travelling here,” Kakuzu pointed out testily, eyes assessing. 

“Well, yeah,” Hidan shrugged, looking wholly unconcerned, “but that wind style shit you did against those Suna guys looked cool, so I figured I’d, you know, keep you around—like old times, huh?” Hidan waggled his eyebrows and bumped shoulders with Kakuzu, whose eyes narrowed. 

“_Bu-uu-ut_ now that we’re in the clear…” Hidan trailed off. One second later, he was swinging his scythe at Kakuzu, who had the presence of mind this time to catch the thing by the handle just as the blades scraped against his Earth Speared cheek. 

“This again?” Kakuzu said impatiently. He was tired, he was hungry, and he needed new clothes. He felt uncomfortably exposed without a cloak—his heart monsters were bared to the world on his back like this—and the last thing he needed was some trivial fistfight with Hidan in the middle of enemy territory. “Remember the last time we got into a fight? The enemy converged on us. Can’t you do this until after they’ve given up the search on us?” 

“Yeah, right!” Hidan snorted, yanking the scythe out of Kakuzu’s grip. “Jashin-sama doesn’t wait for anyone, idiot!” Still, Hidan paused, scythe half-up in the air in preparation for another attack, before he adds, “By the way—what are those things in your back? They looked pretty awesome back there, you know.” 

_Awesome_. Kakuzu was fairly certain no one had ever described his hearts that way—although, of course, Hidan didn’t know they were spare hearts. For all he knew, they were simply weapons with wide, indiscriminate attacks. Kakuzu was sure that sort of thing was Hidan’s style, what with the ludicrousy of his scythe. 

“Oh, come on, Kakuzu!” Hidan frowned. “What, we haven’t seen each other in, like, however many fucking years and you don’t even want to say hello?” 

“You were about to kill me.” 

“Man, you’re still hung up on that shit? Don’t get so easily offended; get over it! Pettiness ain’t a good look on you, you know? And your face is already fucked up, so it’s not like you need any help with that shit. I liked you better when you didn’t look like a fucking scarecrow or whatever the fuck, by the way.” 

Kakuzu sneered. 

“Aha—okay, I’ll admit though: you look way scarier like that when you got the…” Hidan made slash marks perpendicular to his cheeks, miming out Kukuzu’s stitches. A moment later, Hidan bared his teeth and stuck out a tongue. “I mean, I’m into it.”

Kakuzu made a disgusted sound before shouldering past Hidan and further into the forest. One moment, Hidan was trying to kill him, and the next, he was coming onto Kakuzu. The fact that it was almost identical to back then was not lost on Kakuzu—and somehow only served to infuriate him further. He was not in the mood to entertain some familiar relationship between the two of them. They had not seen each other in some time, and besides: their association back then was no more than a partnership brought on by orders from their villages. 

This did not seem to stop Hidan, however, as he resolutely began to trot after Kakuzu. He seemed to not be overly concerned with killing Kakuzu for now, which Kakuzu supposed was a good thing; it made it easier to move through territory without worrying about Hidan trying to slice off his head for the duration. 

“So, handsome, what’ve you been up to lately?” Hidan asked gleefully, emphasizing the word _handsome_. An insult, Kakuzu knew, although he had long since shed any shallowness regarding his outward appearance. 

“Oh, fucking come _on_,” Hidan pressed when Kakuzu did not immediately respond. “What, you’re not talking to me now? You don’t see a guy for a few fucking years and suddenly you’re strangers? Hey, fuck face, I’m talking to you!” 

Kakuzu rounded on Hidan, hand and arm already hardened with Earth Spear, and made to grasp at Hidan’s neck. Instead, his wrist was stopped midair with the handle of Hidan’s scythe. Behind it, its wielder was grinning. 

“Oh, so your hearing hasn’t completely gone, huh?” Hidan said, sly. “Good, I was worried. I mean, fuck, coming away looking like _ that _is punishment enough. Couldn’t imagine not having some basic functioning ears, too.” 

“What do you want?” Kakuzu demanded, already taking back his hand and releasing Earth Spear. The sooner he can take care of business with Hidan, the sooner the pair of them could part ways. His short time with Hidan already had Kakuzu eager to be rid of him; he had errands to run now, clothes to pick out, matters to organize before laying low against the rising alert against him. If Hidan was still out and about after it was all over—which Kakuzu was fairly sure he would—_then _ he would figure out a way to incapacitate him long enough to collect his bounty. As it was, Hidan had effectively _ annoyed _ Kakuzu out of pursuing his bounty—_for now_. 

“_Well_,” Hidan drawled, retracting his scythe and throwing it across his shoulders, “now that, you know, I’ve had some time to think about it and reminisce a little, I seemed to have remembered something—you know, from back then.” 

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. “Is that so?” _This _will be good. 

“Well,” Hidan grinned, eyes glinting, “I _seem _ to remember that you _ owed _ me for something.” 

Kakuzu immediately bared teeth. “You’re bringing _ that _up?” he spat. “A meaningless deal made decades ago?” 

“Hey, it was _ your _idea!” 

Kakuzu turned back around and started walking again. “It was made when we were _ both _ still shinobi to our villages, and with the assumption that we’d be too _ dead _to make use of it, anyway.” 

“But here we are, huh? Funny how life works, eh, Kakuzu?” 

Kakuzu made another guttural noise over his shoulder. “If we are speaking about things back then, then I _ also _ seem to remember you _ abandoning _ the mission and leaving the rest of us to _ die_. I think that more than makes up for whatever _ paltry _claim you have to an expired deal we made.” 

Hidan snorted. “Expired? Fuck that shit, Kakuzu—we never put any sort of expiration date on that shit. What, you want me to apologize for hurting your feelings or some shit? Get the fuck over it—it looks like Jashin-sama decided to be merciful and make you immortal too, so maybe I actually did you a _ favor_, huh?” 

“My longevity has _ nothing _to do with your god,” Kakuzu retorted, shoving a branch out of his way and making it snap. 

“Hey! I’m being nice to you right now, you fucking know that? I’m sparing your life! But if you keep talking shit about Jashin-sama like that, I’m not going to fucking hold myself back! You get that?” 

Now it was Kakuzu’s turn to snort, although he held his tongue. Perhaps, if he acquiesced, Hidan would stop talking. 

He was not so lucky. After a brief silence, Hidan spoke again. 

“Hey, you never answered me,” Hidan said. “What are these things sticking out of your back?” 

Kakuzu instinctively gave a cursory glance over his shoulder and found Hidan millimeters away from poking his heart masks with the points of his scythe. Instantly, Kakuzu whipped around and caught Hidan’s scythe in his hand, eyes narrowed and threads beginning to spread out from his upper shoulders and collarbone. They wriggled and snapped in the air, at the ready. 

“_Do not_ ,” Kakuzu said, voice low and threatening, “_touch those_.” 

Hidan’s gaze was unreadable as it flickered across Kakuzu’s furious expression. For once, he does not look angry or entertained, just searching. Still, after a moment, Kakuzu saw a spark of something in his eyes. Something playful—impish. 

“Alright, alright,” Hidan laughed a little, tone light and smile thin, as he raised his free hand in surrender. “My bad. Can I have my scythe back?” 

Kakuzu’s expression only soured, but after a beat, his threads snapped back into his body. In the same motion, he let go of Hidan’s scythe. 

“You walk in front,” Kakuzu ordered. If Hidan was going to insist on sticking to Kakuzu, then like Hell he was going to allow Hidan to remain at his back. Hidan, with a lazy shrug, moved past Kakuzu to step ahead, making sure to give Kakuzu a wink as he did so. 


End file.
